Today She Hates

Today she hates him, but there's more to it than that. It's easy to say that you hate someone because as soon as you remove that person from your life the hate goes too, at least that would be the logical process. However, most of us are fully aware that emotions are rarely, if ever, logical. The truth is not that you hate the person, it's that you hate what they did and you hate what they did because of what it did to you. It hurt you. It made you cry. It made you afraid. It made you doubt. It made you feel guilty. It made you feel like a failure. It made you feel ashamed. It made you feel foolish. It made you feel unworthy, unlovable, and insignificant. It caused you pain. You lost sleep. You stopped eating. Their actions turned your entire world upside down and they didn't even blink. It is easier to hate then to deal with all of this. It's always going to be easier to hate then to deal with any of this. But in the end your hatred only hardens YOUR heart. It only skews YOUR perception of the world. It only limits YOUR ability to love or to trust. It only inhibits YOUR ability to hope. 


Today she hates him. Tomorrow she may hate him. She may hate him through the end of the week, the end of the month, or even the end of the year. But one day she is going to wake up and she won't hate him at all and it will be because she never denied hating him to begin with. We think it makes us awful people to admit that we hate someone, and often times we try to pretend that we don't because admitting that we do means admitting that everything else is true, that the insecurity is real. She will eventually stop hating him because she's not afraid to admit that she does, and she's also not afraid to admit that she doesn't want to.