You'd have to know her really well to hear the unhappiness behind the awkwardly timed laughter. You'd have to know her really well to know that she knows why she did it even when she says she doesn't. You'd have to know her really well to know that there's more to it than it being "fun". You'd have to know her really well to know which decisions are normal and which ones are cries for help.
I just so happen to know her that well.
I was torn between yelling and crying, but while on the phone I managed to maintain my composure. I simply told her that I loved her and to be careful! When I hung up I just stood there, shocked at the news I had received, more shocked because of who I received it from. It broke my heart, but I couldn't cry, not again, and not anymore.
On the phone she told me that she appreciated the fact that no one told her to stop. All I could think of was how dumb she was and how inconsiderate the people are that were with her, but then it clicked. You can only save someone from so much by getting them to quit before they cross that line, but eventually there's going to come a time where they are going to want to know their own limits and you have to simply watch as they approach that line and then cross it even when you know things aren't going to turn out well. She never would've crossed that line in front of me, hell she never would've let me cross that line, but we all have to learn sometime.
You'd have to know her really well to know the actions as of late are completely out of character for her. You'd have to know her really well to know that she's not just doing it to have fun, because she's never needed it before to be the life of the party. You'd have to know her really well to know that she's doing it because she just doesn't care anymore.
It just so happens that I know her that well.
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