Season of Change

Last night I was making a mental list of all the things that I need to do before I leave for LA, and then it hit me. It was like suddenly the emotion side of me realized I was moving and the intellectual side of me wasnt ready for the reaction! I knew that I hadnt fully processed this decision yet, that my emotions needed to play catch up, I just thought it wouldnt happen until I was on the plane(and couldnt change my mind).

Ive always been the type to have fairly good control over my emotions. Im a lot like my mom, level headed, strong-willed(aka stubborn), a thinker. Not that I dont feel, I just dont operate best in that capacity. If I dont overthink something then I run the risk of letting my emotions get the best of me, and when that happens I am almost literally incapable of doing anything. (and Im not sure why I just said all of that.) Needless to say, last night was rough. My emotions kicked in and I had little time to decide what I was going to do. My options were I either let my emotions have control, which would mean that moving day would come and I wouldnt be ready at all, or I process through my emotions as thoroughly(and quickly)as I could to avoid incapacitation! I chose the latter, found a quiet place in the house, cozied up with my ipod and journal, and poured it all out! I fessed up to the sadness of my move and leaving my family(and friends)behind. I owned the hurt from those whove decided that this is where we part ways(which hurts more than i want to admit). I, though slightly embarrassed, voiced all of my doubts, fears, and worries of the unknown and of my ability to succeed.

When all was said and done I felt like I could breathe easier!

Change is interesting...no matter how takes place it never seems to get any easier. I wonder what thats about?! (when I get an answer youll be the first to know.)

Its getting late(or way too early)so I will leave you with this:

"So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There's a girl on the streets, she's cryin'
There's a man whose faith is dyin'
Love is calling you"

(Lost Get Found by Britt Nicole)