This year Father's Day is on June 20th (today as of twenty minutes ago), last year it was on June 21st and next year it will be on June 19th. An interesting holiday don't you think? Now, please don't get me wrong, I am all for dedicating one day to celebrating fathers, I think as children that's the very least that we could do. But what about those who don't have dads, for whatever reason that may be, what does this holiday make them feel?
Now some of you may be thinking that I have taken a rather cynical position on this expectantly joyous occasion, however living in LA, surrounded by people who didn't grow up the way I did I'm learning to see things from a whole new perspective. My cousin Jennifer lost her father to a heart attack when she was nineteen. My cousin Gabriel has a father with a half assed commitment. I don't even get to celebrate with my own father, and I'm not even sure that he would want to do something even if I could.
I'm not an idiot, I know that there are too many out there being raised without fathers. Some men get scared that they might do more harm by sticking around and so they leave (I wish that this wasn't true at all, but the reality is that sometimes it is). Some dads are robbed of life too soon and their children get an early awakening to just how cruel life can be. Some dads stick around but never had a father to look up to and so don't know how to be the father their kids need. Some children never had the chance to know their fathers, or a father, and sadly some never will. I'm not an idiot, I know there are many growing up without fathers, but on a day like Father's Day, when my dad has always been there, I didn't think about the ones that never were. Or the ones that couldn't be because one day their children woke up and their dad was simply gone.
We (my family) has plans to celebrate Father's Day, dinner at my grandfather's favorite restaurant. I'm honestly not much for celebrating. My dad is a thousand miles away, Jenn's dad can't be here and so she would rather avoid the holiday altogether. (I know this because we talked about it.) What do I say to that? What would anyone say to that? I can't tell her that I understand, because I don't. I can tell her that I don't blame her for how she feels, but that goes without saying because why would I blame her? If i didn't have my dad then I would be feeling the exact same way that she does.
I wish that everyone was going to enjoy this third Sunday in June, but that isn't the case. I wish that I could ease the pain of those who will loath today because they shouldn't carry around that weight, but that's easier said than done. And it sucks.
To all those out there who have fathers and whose fathers are present in their lives, please, don't take them for granted. Cherish whatever time you spend with them today and the days that follow.
For those who have fathers that chose their absence from your lives, I am truly sorry. They are missing out on something incredible! You don't deserve the heart ache that their selfishness has inflicted upon you and I hope that someday you are able to forgive them.
And for those who had their fathers taken from them before they were ready to let them go, I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope that Father's Day doesn't leave a bitter taste in your mouth and that you still find a way to honor your father.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADS
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