Homesick

They tell me that coming home from vacation and then realizing you miss the home that you moved from is normal. Ive never been keen on 'normal', but wishing away this longing hasnt worked yet so I will just have to deal with it I suppose, or give into it. (And the plan is to go home for a week at the end of the month.)

But in light of being homesick Im realizing its more than home that I miss. I miss 'me'. Theres something about where you grew up and who you grew up with that you cant duplicate no matter where you go. Theres usually only one place that people say will always be home and they choose that place because it incites something in them, it does something that no other place on earth can do. It makes them breathe in a way that no other place can or will. That is the feeling that I am longing for.

I just want to breathe again, and its not about what Im breathing, but how. Home, Eugene, though the air is literally fresh its a place that my soul can breathe fresh air and do so freely. Thats what I miss. I miss being around people who know who I am so that they can remind me when I forget. I miss that feeling of belonging because of how Im different, not how Im like everyone else.

"What if I fall, and hurt myself, would you know how to fix me? What if I went and lost myself, would you know where to find me? If I forgot who I am, would you please remind me. Oh, for without you things go hazy." (Hazy by Rosi Golan)