Q? and A:

Q: Do you have a best friend?
A: I used to.


Q:What happened?
A: We changed.


Q: What do you mean 'changed'?
A: I wanted to know how I was beyond my relationships and my job. I wanted to know if there was more to be then what I liked doing and what I dedicated my spare time to. I wanted to know 'me' beyond everything that was familiar and comfortable. And she wanted to get married.


Q: And is she, getting married?
A: Yeah, in a month.


Q: Are you going to the wedding?
A: The jury is still out on that one.


Q: Why is that? 
A: It's supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Being her 'best friend' should automatically make me want to celebrate that day with her, that day and all the days leading up to it. But for me that day and all the days between now and then only serve as reminders of how different things are. Being a thousand miles away makes it easier to forget the strain, and I like it that way. If I close the distance gap it becomes more difficult. 


Q: Do you want to go to the wedding?
A: The answer to that depends on the day. Yesterday I would have said 'no'. However today is a different story, today I would say 'yes',  I do want to go. A year ago I was supposed to be there for all of it. The first to find out about the engagement. Planning the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. I was supposed to help coordinate the wedding. I was supposed to get fitted for a dress and stand next to her as she said 'I do'. But none of it went the way it was 'supposed' to. The wedding day is the only moment I have been invited to be apart of. Today, I don't want to pass that up.


Q: Do you think the strain will end? That things will get 'better'?
A: I hope so, but I try not to think much about it.


Q: Do you think your 'best friend' feels even a fraction of the torment you have?
A: I honestly don't know. I think I would be surprised to find out she did. I would be even more surprised if she was the one that told me.


Q: Do you resent her at all?
A: I wish I could say no, but I don't think I can, not today at least. Ask me again tomorrow. 


Q: Last question, if she called you and said she was sorry and needed you would you be there?
A: Without a doubt.