Tonight a friend asked me how my heart stayed so soft. I've been through a hell of a lot in the last year and this friend was there for all for it. She wanted to know what my secret was. How is it that I'm still so patient and full of second chances? How is it that I still want to love people?
The only answer I could come up with is that I'm addicted to feeling. And not just feeling anything but something real. So if I wake up in the morning in a great mood I want to enjoy that, no questions asked. Or if I'm bearing a hurt so crushing that I can't tell which way is up, so be it. As long as it's real I can work through it or enjoy it.
So I guess that's my secret. I would rather feel everything than nothing. Nothing is harder. Feeling nothing means you're a stranger to yourself and to the rest of the world. And I want to know me so thr world can know me, the real me.
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