The Resistance

At the end of the month I'm moving to Los Angeles, well techinically the beginning of next month but they're so close together what does it really matter?!:) (I just realized this is the firist time I'm saying it out loud and by 'out loud' I mean online.)

I've been hesitant to post anything about it anywhere, and not because I'm afraid to tell people, but because sometimes I let peoples opinions matter too much. I don't like to ruffle feathers if I don't have to(some of you may be thinking that this decision shouldn't ruffle feathers, and you may be right)but it already has!When I first started thinking about this move I thought about the people I knew who would be suportive without question, my college leaders, my family, one of my closest friends, and then I thought of those who wouldn't be. I was wrong about that list. The people I expected to doubt me, question me, and downright disapprove surprised
me by telling me they were excited for me! That closest friend that I mentioned a few statements back surprised me too. She disapproves.

I'm a writer and hardly find myself without words, but upon hearing that news I was speechless, and part of me still is. How do you handle that? I wrestle with scrapping the whole idea because I value her opinion. Yet if I spend my whole life following someone elses opinion I'll never have one of my own. I want the people in my life to be supportive but I need to be careful about the extent I go to get that. I can't force the doubters to believe and I can't wait around for the day to come when they finally do because that day is 'maybe' at best. I don't want to wait my life away.So what then?! Do I risk losing my friend because she thinks I'm wrong and I don't? Or do I keep the peace and risk losing myself? 

A month ago I wouldve done whatever it took to keep the peace, but a lot changed in a month( a blog for another time), the girl I was a month ago was a little more lost than the one writing this today. A month ago I knew who I was but not what I wanted and wouldve listened to any ideas on what that should be. Now I know what I want and I'mnot afraid to go after it. My friend says that's selfish. Maybe it is. But I don't think so.