let the end begin

its funny the things that dawn on you when you least expect them. i was at church this morning and ran into a few friends that i wasnt expecting to see. i had mere moments to seize the opportunity to say goodbye or quietly slipe away. i chose to say goodbye. three separate time. three separate shocked expressions. three equally difficult "ill be seeing you's". my mom asked me if it was getting harder and i said yes. she told me she could tell.

they say that in near death experiences you see your life flash before your eyes and that when you get married you see your life in someone elses eyes. but you dont hear people talk about seeing their lives in the faces of those they see everyday. those they work alongside. those whove always been there and i think its because were not concerned with hainging onto the memories until one day were faced with the possibility of not making anymore. and for this reason i hate goodbyes.

but with only a week and a half until the big day i cant pretend anymore. i cant pretend its not going to change and i cant not say goodbye, with as much as i hate them i would hate parting without one more. 

"stop ignoring that our hearts are mourning and let the rain come in. stop pretending that its not ending and let the end begin." _kris allen "the truth"